My favourite song has only four lines and the name of the song is Rent – Will I? Here are the lyrics –
This is a beautiful song and it correlates beautifully with my life experiences. I have been through loads of turmoil all my life be it childhood or during my teens or twenties. I have suffered a lot but nothing has stopped me from working hard and reaching to the point that I am today. Though there were many hurdles in my life and I have successfully passed them all but once I got shattered badly. It was the time of my divorce.
I got married in my early twenties and for me; it was a very young age for a solicitation like marriage. Due to the young age, I was unable to fulfil the needs of my new family no matter how hard I tried. To offer them with all the happiness I decided to quit my job thinking it will help me in getting my married life on track. While during all these struggles that I was going through I hardly noticed that my husband never took any initiative to fix the edges of our life.
Though we were newly married and it was the responsibility of both of us and not only mine. In the initial days I thought maybe he is busy or having some work pressure but in a very small span of time, I got to know that he was never ever ready to get married to me. It was not like he was not interested in marriage but the problem was he was not ready to start his new life with me.
Do you want to know what the exact reason behind all these was?
The answer is family pressure. My husband was having a relationship and was very serious towards the girl but like any other family, his relation was not given a chance to depict the reality and originality of love. Instead, he was pressurised to get married to me. Learning this I really got shattered and burst into tears. It was nothing but an utter nightmare for me. During this time I use to hear only my favourite song and these four lines became the story of my life.
As now nobody cared about my feelings, dreams and expectations. I felt betrayed as everyone around me knew the reality of my marriage and I like an idiot was working hard to mint this sour relationship. There were no roots and where I was pouring water on. There was no future of this relationship though I loved him a lot and had seen so many dreams with him thinking he is the one who will my dreams with glorious colours. But the utter reality hit me hard and he asked for a divorce.
I thought it was the end of my life and I will not be able to see the next day as I had no hopes or trust in myself. But thanks to my friends and family who helped me and stood like support all through this journey. I cannot say that I have moved on my life and has forgotten everything as somewhere in my heart I have a soft corner as he was my first love. But at the same point of time when I see him happy, I feel my divorce was a good decision for both of us and thanks to my favourite song to stay rock solid with me.